- Submitted by anonymous through Instagram
When people imagine a pedophile they picture some ugly old man approaching children and offering them something in exchange. what people don’t understand is that a pedophile/ predator can be just anyone, they don’t picture their neighbor, a family member, that cute boy/girl that graduated or is a couple of grades above. It usually is those that hide behind the cloak of normality and respectability within our community that is the worst offenders of them all. As they will thrive on this respect and the control over their victim, in knowing that he/she can convince many others that the child is lying and is looking for attention. there’s a stigma around this and it just isn’t discussed enough, anyone under the age of 18 can be a victim.
4 most common characteristics and behavioral indicators of a pedophile:
1. “You’re mature for your age”
Adult men or women telling you you’re “mature for your age” is a predatory grooming tactic so that they can get into your pants. this really just translates to: “i’m going to tell you something that will flatter you and make you feel more like an adult so that when i come on to you, you’ll feel special and consent to it instead of feeling creeped out or telling me off”.
2. Often rationalizes his/her illicit activities:
Emphasizing their positive impact upon the victim and repressing feelings about the harm that they have done to have the victim normalize the relationship.
3. Their use of manipulation and love-bombing:
Victims are often at a vulnerable and very critical age, older men/women have more experience sexually and romantically and can imagine exactly what a child or teen would want to hear in order to make them feel special. love-bombing is a rarely understood type of abuse and it creates an intense emotional bond that can blind us so we can't see the relationship for what it is, predators use it to their advantage.
4. Random acts of generosity
Because predators are of age, most have full-time jobs and can support themselves financially which is rare for people under the age of 18. They are able to buy substances such as alcohol and other drugs, they offer to drive you places and this is used to give victims the idea that they not only owe that person but to appreciate them for the favors they do. Pedophiles often expect some kind of special treatment from victims since they cannot obtain these things themselves.
The unfortunate reality of this is that these do not come to mind to young teens and children. It is hard for a victim to recognize the relationship for what it truly is. Because of the attention, the victim begins to romanticize the relationship due to all the flattery of being involved with somebody much older and it makes them feel special. It is also very common for the victim to become the defendant of their groomer simply because of the manipulation tactics used.
It is important to believe a child who confides that he or she has been sexually abused. It is not up to the adult who receives a disclosure of sexual abuse to investigate the credibility of the child’s allegations.